I’m going to make an effort to get back on the fandom horse, starting today. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how exhausting it is to be at the computer, or to read text, or to be around fandom’s not-infrequent nastiness, my online contact with fandom is my lifeline to sanity; taking a break from it might free up a brain cell or two for real life, but it’s a backwards step. And one of the key lessons in managing a chronic health problem is “only take the neutral or positive steps”. First, do no harm.
It’s my story A Bed of Thorns that most people are here for (and I respect that!), so here’s the status report: I’m not suffering writer’s block, but I’m so ill that I’m having trouble using the tools of writing - brain, hands, eyes, computer - for long enough stretches to keep up the writing momentum. Momentum is much of the battle, for me; I don’t need inspiration or even a plot bunny to sit down and write something passable about other people’s characters. I do need a strong sense of the character/s, time, and momentum.
I’m going to do what I can to bring A Bed of Thorns to an end sooner rather than later. I structured bail-outs into the basic outline from the beginning, knowing that my health might give out; unfortunately, I passed the last possible exit when Rumple’s curse broke. I could ditch everything I’ve written since, go back and end it shortly after Wren’s death - but I’d rather carry on. Some of what’s coming up is the ficcy and character-exploration payoff, for me, of 2 years of hard work and not-inconsiderable personal sacrifice. I want the story to end with [sp*iler], which would be both an ending and a new beginning. So, back on the horse - and hope that I don’t face any new health obstacles.